Recently I have had a lot happen that effected my life drastically. After my great aunt's death in November of 2011, her sister, Deanie, started deteriorating. She died recently and that was devastating for my family since she was such a major factor in our lives. Not too long after my cousin got in a motorcycle accident and was in ICU for 25 days. They were unsure of his chance of recovery until last week. Now he has been moved to CCU. The emotional turmoil has been overwhelming at times and I didn't have the friend to lean on that I normally do. For some reason we have been drifting apart.
Let's call my friend Liz for simplicity. Liz recently went through an emotional roller coaster. She found out she was pregnant (too young, immature and poor) and was worried about the impact that would have on her life. We researched adoption options, cost of keeping and raising a child and, much to my chagrin, we even researched abortion. Unfortunately she lost the baby. Not long after Liz's parents came into quite a bit of money and she is enjoying the benefits that come along with that. Roller coaster, right?
I was happy for her, was, originally. Now I am a little upset at her behavior. I won't say that I wouldn't be relishing the luxury either but I hope that I would be considerate of other people's situations at the same time.
Now that that little bit of background is established I can describe her latest escapade. She called me up last week, upset because I had left our house earlier than anticipated. I explained that I was uncomfortable with her strange silence and she went off. She informed me that I was a terrible friend, I was "stuck up my boyfriends butt" and that she was worried about me. Now I can appreciate her concern but her logic was a little skewed. Her reasons for calling me a terrible friend:
1. When she was going through her miscarriage I wasn't there for her. No I was at the hospital with my great aunt as she was dying. We agreed that was okay.
2. When she and her boyfriend fought right after the loss I wasn't there for her to talk to. Last time I checked I had a working cell phone, and I was at a funeral. For Deanie. Okay we'll brush that one off too...
3. Someone told her I was talking about her behind her back. When I asked what I was quoted as saying the reply was that I had called her a bitch and said she was an idiot. I think I may have laughed at that. My response was that I said that to her all the time and I never meant it the way it sounds when you read it. We constantly call each other names. It started in Jr. High and managed to survive until now. She laughed too and agreed that that was kind of dumb.
4. And finally, she was upset that I had not gone to her house to see her new pool two weekends ago. We had been planning it all week, until Thursday night when I got the phone call about my cousin's wreck. I went home to see him and be there for the family. Despite her best efforts she couldn't be upset about that one either.
So we 'fixed' our friendship and everything was peachy.
Yesterday I got a phone call from a mutual friend who was upset with Liz's behavior when I wasn't around. Come to find out she is house hunting with some of her friends and wasn't planning on telling me. Did I mention we are also roommates? I wouldn't normally be that bothered by her moving out because she lives for the drama that it would cause if I cared but our landlord happens to be my father. Now I'm torn between anger and hurt. I'm mad that she would do this to my parents. I'm hurt that she thinks she has to hide it. For thirteen years we have been friends. By now she should know that I only get mad when someone messes with the people I care about.
It breaks my heart that my friend is pulling away from me so forcefully because I am not at her beck and call but I think our differences in responsibilities and the amount of turmoil I've been dealing with have finally gotten to me and I'm almost relieved I won't have to rephrase things so they aren't mean anymore. I won't have to clean up after her or keep my mouth shut when she doesn't wash her dog...maybe it will be okay. If not I'm taking applications for friends, she isn't being replaced but I've come to realize I need someone else I can talk to about important things since she seems to have lost interest in my well being.
xoxo
B
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Catching a Break
Lately I have had my eyes opened to the strength of my mother in a very unfortunate way. In November of 2011 my mother's aunt passed away. Daffy, as everyone who knew her called her, was a major fixture in my mom's life. She was constantly at our house for holidays and my mom was always dropping in to see her and her sister.
You see, my grandma died when I was three. My little sister was two weeks old. Imagine the impact that had on my mom, her daughter. My mom trucked right on through, raised two beautiful, brilliant and happy girls. She did that with the help of her mother's sisters. Daffy was the lighthearted version of my great Aunt VonDean. "Deanie" was not only my mom's aunt, but a very close friend and a great supporter of everything my mom did. She was a surrogate grandmother to my sister and me and she was the epitome of a matriarchal dragon. We all loved her and her scary, teacher ways. She taught for many many years and managed to keep her wits about her until the very end. That is a feat I hope to manage in my career.
Deanie just recently passed away. My mother was devastated. Heartbroken, she still manages to put on that happy front, go about her daily routine and still take care of my family. Not just her children and husband but her cousins, nieces and nephews, siblings, and her one remaining aunt. Now tell me how I can ever live up to the woman who raised me. I don't know if I can ever meet her standards.
And now to top it all off; my mother recently hired my cousin, who happens to be one of my best friends. Lately we've grown apart but my mom didn't care and helped him out when she had an opening. He wrecked his motorcycle this evening. My mom, once again, is at the hospital. Waiting. Which everyone knows is the hardest part. I am going home tomorrow as soon as I get off of work to be with her. I am crying just thinking of all the strain and heartache my mom is having to endure this year and I only pray her health holds up and she makes it through this okay.
I know God is bigger than all of this, I know He has a plan. And right now I know my entire family is leaning heavily on Him. Please keep us all in your prayers, and know that you will be in mine. Whether you are encountering a problem like mine or something completely different, I will pray.
You see, my grandma died when I was three. My little sister was two weeks old. Imagine the impact that had on my mom, her daughter. My mom trucked right on through, raised two beautiful, brilliant and happy girls. She did that with the help of her mother's sisters. Daffy was the lighthearted version of my great Aunt VonDean. "Deanie" was not only my mom's aunt, but a very close friend and a great supporter of everything my mom did. She was a surrogate grandmother to my sister and me and she was the epitome of a matriarchal dragon. We all loved her and her scary, teacher ways. She taught for many many years and managed to keep her wits about her until the very end. That is a feat I hope to manage in my career.
Deanie just recently passed away. My mother was devastated. Heartbroken, she still manages to put on that happy front, go about her daily routine and still take care of my family. Not just her children and husband but her cousins, nieces and nephews, siblings, and her one remaining aunt. Now tell me how I can ever live up to the woman who raised me. I don't know if I can ever meet her standards.
And now to top it all off; my mother recently hired my cousin, who happens to be one of my best friends. Lately we've grown apart but my mom didn't care and helped him out when she had an opening. He wrecked his motorcycle this evening. My mom, once again, is at the hospital. Waiting. Which everyone knows is the hardest part. I am going home tomorrow as soon as I get off of work to be with her. I am crying just thinking of all the strain and heartache my mom is having to endure this year and I only pray her health holds up and she makes it through this okay.
I know God is bigger than all of this, I know He has a plan. And right now I know my entire family is leaning heavily on Him. Please keep us all in your prayers, and know that you will be in mine. Whether you are encountering a problem like mine or something completely different, I will pray.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
BACK TO SCHOOL
I'm back, I have returned, school is in session. Funny thing is, I'm actually really excited. I finally found something to be passionate about and my schedule has worked out perfectly. I have a new job, I have a consistent workout plan, and I'm actually calm, cool and collected.
I am required to write a blog for one of my classes. Convenient right? No. I have to create a new one and write what they want when they want and follow certain group members. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty cool but to be required to do something I try to do anyway makes it a little redundant. I am ready to see what my fellow classmates are like.Hopefully we have a stimulating group and I don't get bored. That tends to happen to me. Regularly. I will add myself to my reading list (ha ha) because I'm awesome. And conceited.
My puppy is a little over a year old now and quite large. He loves going on walks and being included in my day-to-day activities. He does not like baths. At all. It gets messy and probably isn't really worth the hassle.
My house is slowly but surely coming together. I have furniture in every room, I have ideas for the naked spots, now I just need money. Doesn't everyone? I guess for today that will conclude my life summary. Be back soon hopefully.
I am required to write a blog for one of my classes. Convenient right? No. I have to create a new one and write what they want when they want and follow certain group members. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty cool but to be required to do something I try to do anyway makes it a little redundant. I am ready to see what my fellow classmates are like.Hopefully we have a stimulating group and I don't get bored. That tends to happen to me. Regularly. I will add myself to my reading list (ha ha) because I'm awesome. And conceited.
My puppy is a little over a year old now and quite large. He loves going on walks and being included in my day-to-day activities. He does not like baths. At all. It gets messy and probably isn't really worth the hassle.
My house is slowly but surely coming together. I have furniture in every room, I have ideas for the naked spots, now I just need money. Doesn't everyone? I guess for today that will conclude my life summary. Be back soon hopefully.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Congraduations!!
So to all of those seniors out there who graduated this weekend (or any weekend), congratulations! You are now freshmen. The bottom rung (again). The noobs, fish, and lost college attendees. Some advice for the road ahead...
1. No matter what your parents say, college is not for everyone. I'm not saying you shouldn't try it out, I it's tons of fun and there really is something you would be good at, it may just take a while.
2. It is okay to switch your major. If you don't know what you would be perfect for career-wise you can try a few things out. Tell your advisor in advance you need to explore your options.
3. The dorms can be your favorite place or your worst nightmare. Don't live with your best friend, or really any friend you grew up with. What I mean to say is branch out! Meet new people, and save your friendship. Some BFFs can make it living together but should you risk it? Many adults talk about the life-long friendships they have developed with their roommate from college. Honestly it didn't work that way for me. My best friend did introduce me to most of my life-long friends and that isn't a bad thing. But I did make a lot of really good friends in the dorms.
4. Talk to the upper class-men and alumnus. They will know the ins and outs of the university and will be very happy to help you. Asks about professors, dorms, food places, deals, fun joints and awesome activities. It takes a while to figure it out on your own.
5. Show some school spirit! You don't have to watch every game, or even every sport. Just choose a few to attend and do it right! Take friends, show up in groups and yell loud! It is worth every second.
6. Finally! This is the last one. Dedicate yourself. Do your work, go to class, STUDY!! It is hard. It is tedious. It is long. But mostly it is WORTH IT!! The better you do the sooner you're done.
College is supposed to be the happiest time of your life. Outcasts fit in, and the popular kid has to start all over. It's the ultimate reincarnation (without the death).
Best of luck and may God guide you to the results that fit you best.
XOXO
1. No matter what your parents say, college is not for everyone. I'm not saying you shouldn't try it out, I it's tons of fun and there really is something you would be good at, it may just take a while.
2. It is okay to switch your major. If you don't know what you would be perfect for career-wise you can try a few things out. Tell your advisor in advance you need to explore your options.
3. The dorms can be your favorite place or your worst nightmare. Don't live with your best friend, or really any friend you grew up with. What I mean to say is branch out! Meet new people, and save your friendship. Some BFFs can make it living together but should you risk it? Many adults talk about the life-long friendships they have developed with their roommate from college. Honestly it didn't work that way for me. My best friend did introduce me to most of my life-long friends and that isn't a bad thing. But I did make a lot of really good friends in the dorms.
4. Talk to the upper class-men and alumnus. They will know the ins and outs of the university and will be very happy to help you. Asks about professors, dorms, food places, deals, fun joints and awesome activities. It takes a while to figure it out on your own.
5. Show some school spirit! You don't have to watch every game, or even every sport. Just choose a few to attend and do it right! Take friends, show up in groups and yell loud! It is worth every second.
6. Finally! This is the last one. Dedicate yourself. Do your work, go to class, STUDY!! It is hard. It is tedious. It is long. But mostly it is WORTH IT!! The better you do the sooner you're done.
College is supposed to be the happiest time of your life. Outcasts fit in, and the popular kid has to start all over. It's the ultimate reincarnation (without the death).
Best of luck and may God guide you to the results that fit you best.
XOXO
For my Re (who may never see this)
You graduated. I'm happy for you, I really am. These tears are tears of joy and pride. You are the stronger sibling. You are the lucky one. I hope your success is immense and your ecstasy abundant. I love you.
I've always been jealous of your confidence, your beauty and your talent. You have such amazing drive and determination. You have a beautiful personality and the sweetest heart. I know we've wandered from the Church life a little bit but I feel that our religion is firm, strong and comfortable. I know you've learned many many amazing things in sunday school and church. Now I want you to grow that knowledge and blow them all away at school!!!!
Re, you are one of my best friends. I trust you, love you and support you fully. (So when I'm poor help me out ;] ). I envy the ease with which you found your calling and I can't wait to see you pull it off.
Congratulations and good luck baby sister!
Love,
~B~
I've always been jealous of your confidence, your beauty and your talent. You have such amazing drive and determination. You have a beautiful personality and the sweetest heart. I know we've wandered from the Church life a little bit but I feel that our religion is firm, strong and comfortable. I know you've learned many many amazing things in sunday school and church. Now I want you to grow that knowledge and blow them all away at school!!!!
Re, you are one of my best friends. I trust you, love you and support you fully. (So when I'm poor help me out ;] ). I envy the ease with which you found your calling and I can't wait to see you pull it off.
Congratulations and good luck baby sister!
Love,
~B~
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Mr. Wesley...
How did I forget to mention that Mr. Wesley has disappeared?!! His house is up for sale and I haven't seen him in months. I am ashamed of my thoughtlessness. I hope he is doing well, whether it be here or in heaven...
Guilty Posting
Wow! It has been a long time...This is why I don't dare start a craft blog. That and I never finish any of the crafts I start. Maybe that'll be my new project: Finish a previous project!
It rained quite a bit here in San Angelo. I would tell you how much buy my rain gauge is broken (which I discovered after the rainfall). Good news is my beautiful Kujoe is not muddy and tromping all over my backyard. He is visiting my parents. Whew. He is actually there to get his rabies shot, but he's really just chewing up all of my dad's stuff...teehee...
I know my post is borderline rambling and completely random but, my baby sister is GRADUATING!!!! Ach, faint, cry and laugh excitedly. I just can't believe it...I really will cry if I think about it too much. I'm not quite sure what my parents will do with their empty nest...I'll just have to visit frequently. Probably need to drag my reluctant boyfriend along too. That's unfair, he isn't reluctant to see them, just reluctant to be stuck in a car with me for an hour and a half. I would be scared too.
Two weeks from now I get to see a large portion of my mother's side of the family...(for Re's graduation)...and I'm excited. AUNTIE KIM is coming!!! Sorry, needed to get that out.
Oh and Kayli is moving out. Really big crying fest will occur when she leaves. Not quite sure how we'll cope without her but it'll be an adventure.
It rained quite a bit here in San Angelo. I would tell you how much buy my rain gauge is broken (which I discovered after the rainfall). Good news is my beautiful Kujoe is not muddy and tromping all over my backyard. He is visiting my parents. Whew. He is actually there to get his rabies shot, but he's really just chewing up all of my dad's stuff...teehee...
I know my post is borderline rambling and completely random but, my baby sister is GRADUATING!!!! Ach, faint, cry and laugh excitedly. I just can't believe it...I really will cry if I think about it too much. I'm not quite sure what my parents will do with their empty nest...I'll just have to visit frequently. Probably need to drag my reluctant boyfriend along too. That's unfair, he isn't reluctant to see them, just reluctant to be stuck in a car with me for an hour and a half. I would be scared too.
Two weeks from now I get to see a large portion of my mother's side of the family...(for Re's graduation)...and I'm excited. AUNTIE KIM is coming!!! Sorry, needed to get that out.
Oh and Kayli is moving out. Really big crying fest will occur when she leaves. Not quite sure how we'll cope without her but it'll be an adventure.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Spot Remover from Pinterest
Living with two dogs that go in and out of our house makes for a lot of cleaning in my home. There is also the problem of puppy piddles...or accidents. So when I saw this "awesome" stain remover on Pinterest, I had to try it out.
I decided to try it out on my tan carpet in my bedroom.
BEFORE:
Not pretty. It was from a puppy piddle and the name brand spot remover hadn't worked...
AFTER:
The after pic shows beautiful, clean carpet!!! YAY!!!
One addendum to their instructions. They gave the recipe for working on clothing. If you use it on carpet I recommend putting it in a spray bottle and following the 2:1 instructions (2 parts hydrogen peroxide:1 part original dawn soap) and then doubling it with water. This makes the solution spray more easily as well as keeping your carpet from getting too sudsy. After I daubed the stain with the solution on it I sprayed it with straight water and soaked up the residue. Voila!!
I decided to try it out on my tan carpet in my bedroom.
BEFORE:
Not pretty. It was from a puppy piddle and the name brand spot remover hadn't worked...
AFTER:
The after pic shows beautiful, clean carpet!!! YAY!!!
One addendum to their instructions. They gave the recipe for working on clothing. If you use it on carpet I recommend putting it in a spray bottle and following the 2:1 instructions (2 parts hydrogen peroxide:1 part original dawn soap) and then doubling it with water. This makes the solution spray more easily as well as keeping your carpet from getting too sudsy. After I daubed the stain with the solution on it I sprayed it with straight water and soaked up the residue. Voila!!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Living With Friends
I am currently living with my best friend. We have been around each other since kindergarten and know all of each others quirks and peeves. But...
I hate that she leaves dishes in the sink, junk on the living room table (and floor), doesn't clean anything...ever...and mostly; that she doesn't realize our house sometimes smells due to her funky house lifestyle.
Buuuut...
I love that she knows, understands and loves me for me. I love that she puts up with my moods and epiphanies and that our dogs get along.
So I guess it's all working out. Maybe I just needed to vent.
I hate that she leaves dishes in the sink, junk on the living room table (and floor), doesn't clean anything...ever...and mostly; that she doesn't realize our house sometimes smells due to her funky house lifestyle.
Buuuut...
I love that she knows, understands and loves me for me. I love that she puts up with my moods and epiphanies and that our dogs get along.
So I guess it's all working out. Maybe I just needed to vent.
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